


The Quality Of Mercy

by carolinecrane



Series: down is where we came from [51]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-26
Updated: 2011-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-17 07:05:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinecrane/pseuds/carolinecrane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He still thinks about it sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Quality Of Mercy

Living with Will has plenty of advantages. There’s the regular sex, of course, and there’s the fact that he gets to hang out with Will pretty much all the time, unless they’re at work or something. There’s hanging out on the couch watching the game while Will grades papers, or finding out that Will’s a total American Idol junkie. And Finn even kind of likes that, because he gets to listen to Will critique the songs and the singing and sometimes he even sings himself, just to show Finn how it should be done.

So he likes hanging out with Will, and he likes sleeping with Will, likes waking up with him too and kissing him goodbye when they leave for work. It’s the mornings Will drags him out of bed an hour early to go for a run before work that he’s not so crazy about.

Finn usually tries to distract him with sex, because hey, it burns plenty of calories, so he figures it’s just as good as going for a run. He even lets Will do most of the work, just so he can get the maximum benefit from his workout. Sometimes Will even goes for it, and those are the best mornings of all.

But most of the time Will makes him get out of bed, mostly by boring Finn with a speech about how running and sex aren’t the same and if Finn doesn’t want him dropping dead from a heart attack in twenty years, Finn will go running with him. Which is a complete joke, because they both know Will’s in way better shape than Finn, no matter how much younger Finn is.

He gets up and goes running with Will anyway, because if he doesn’t Will just goes without him, and it isn’t any fun staying in bed by himself. So he gets up and he follows Will into the chilly Ohio morning, and it’s not even light out, which is kind of crazy. It’s cold and dark and kind of damp, and Finn can smell the rain coming, crisp and clean and by the time they turn around to head back home it’s starting to come down.

Not much, just a little drizzle, really, and it’s kind of dumb, but this kind of weather always makes Finn think about the baby he never really had. Beth, Puck named her, though her adopted parents call her Summer. And he guesses Summer’s an okay name -- better than what he picked out, anyway -- but he still doesn’t see what’s wrong with naming a kid after something that makes you happy.

He’s still thinking about it when they get back to the apartment, and maybe Will can tell there’s something on his mind, because he looks at Finn kind of funny as he opens the apartment door, and once they’re inside Will kicks off his shoes and turns toward him.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Finn says, kicking his own shoes off so he won’t track mud through the apartment. “I was just thinking about names.”

“Names?” Will repeats, his forehead crinkling in that funny little confused smile he does sometimes.

“Yeah, you know. Names. Like, did you and Terri ever talk about names, back when you thought you were having a kid?”

They don’t really talk about the whole fake baby thing much. It came up once or twice, back when they first got together, but there’s never really been much to say. It sucked, probably a lot worse for Will, since he was married and _wanted_ to be a dad at the time. But talking about it isn’t going to change anything, so they just...don’t.

Will doesn’t answer right away; he’s pulling clothes off, heading for the bathroom ahead of Finn. It’s their usual routine: go for a run, come home, climb into the shower together, make out until they run out of hot water, then climb back out and get ready for work. And Finn really likes this part of the routine, almost as much as he likes the mornings when he manages to convince Will to stay in bed.

He still hasn’t said anything when Finn follows him into the bathroom, tugging his shirt over his head and then sliding his pants and underwear off to drop them on the floor. Will’s back is to him while he turns on the shower, and when he finally does answer Finn almost misses it.

“I tried a few times. She kept saying she didn’t want to jinx it by being too prepared. I guess I missed a lot of clues.”

And now Finn feels kind of bad for bringing it up, because Will seems sad all of a sudden.

“Forget I said anything. It’s not important,” he says, and he means it, because it’s really not important, but when Will turns to look at him again he’s smiling.

“No, it’s okay. Sometimes I just can’t believe I wasted all that time with her, that’s all.”

When Will reaches for him Finn lets himself be pulled forward, arms sliding around Will’s waist and leaning down for a kiss. He lets his hands slide up Will’s back, and they’re probably still kind of cold, but Will doesn’t complain. He just kisses Finn back, one hand sliding into Finn’s hair while he backs them toward the shower.

Will lets go long enough to pull the shower curtain back, and Finn climbs in after him and pulls it closed again. He watches Will close his eyes and tilt his head back under the spray, neck bared and...God, his body is seriously _perfect_ , and Finn thinks that maybe it wasn’t such a waste that he spent all those years with his crazy ex-wife.

It’s probably a pretty selfish thing to think -- and it’s not like he wants to think about Will and Terri _together_ or anything -- but if Will had figured out she was crazy and left her earlier than he did, there’s a chance he would have moved on with somebody else before Finn got his chance. And maybe if that had happened Finn wouldn’t have known _what_ he was missing, but he still would have gone his whole life feeling like he was missing something.

With Will he feels right for the first time -- whole or complete or whatever it is people say -- and he never wants to go back to feeling the way he did before. As soon as he thinks it Will’s eyes open, and when he catches Finn watching he reaches for him again.

“So why were you thinking about names?” Will asks, hands on Finn’s hips and pushing him up against the warm shower tiles.

“It’s stupid,” Finn says as he slides his arms around Will’s neck to push his hand through Will’s wet curls.

“Try me,” Will says, grinning up at him, and Finn can’t help grinning back.

“Okay, so when I first thought Quinn’s baby was mine I was kind of freaked out. I mean, you were there, so yeah, you know. But once I got used to the idea, I don’t know, part of me kind of didn’t mind. And I guess I started thinking about the parts that would be kind of cool, like the way babies smell when they’re all clean and stuff, and how we’d get to name it.”

“I’m still waiting for the stupid part,” Will says, his smile kind of soft and Finn doesn’t bother trying to resist the urge to lean in and kiss him. When he pulls back again Will’s still smiling, and Finn lets out a little laugh and tugs at one of Will’s curls.

“Anyway, I was thinking about names one day, and then I started thinking about how kids should have a name that makes you think of something happy, right? Like when Gwyneth named her kid Apple. So I was thinking about when it’s drizzling outside and everything smells fresh and kind of warm, and I said we should call the baby Drizzle.”

He pauses so Will can laugh, and he does, kind of, but mostly it’s just a little huff of breath and then a big smile, and Will pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “I take it Quinn wasn’t a fan?”

“She hated it,” Finn answers, then he shrugs against the tile and slides his hands along Will’s shoulders. “Anyway, in the end it didn’t matter. Puck was the dad, and even he didn’t get to name her for real.”

For a second Will looks kind of sad again, so Finn pulls him close and wraps his arms tight around Will’s shoulders. Will’s cheek is pressed against his shoulder, and Finn knows they’re going to run out of hot water if they don’t get a move on, but he can’t make himself care.

“I’ve spent a lot of time around kids, and I’ve seen enough kids tortured for having unusual names to say that I wouldn’t risk ‘Drizzle’,” Will says, pulling back just enough to look at Finn. “But Rain’s a nice, solid name, and it works for a boy or a girl.”

He’s not sure what Will’s saying, exactly; if he’s just trying to make Finn feel better about his lousy taste in baby names, or if they’re actually talking about names for _their_ theoretical kid. That’s a conversation they definitely haven’t had, but Finn’s thought about it a few times, and he wouldn’t mind if Will’s been thinking about it too.

He doesn’t say so, mostly because if he’s wrong things could get weird fast. But it sort of feels like they’re having that conversation, and Finn doesn’t try to stop himself from smiling. “Rain. Yeah, I like that.”

Will grins at him again, then he pulls Finn under the water and reaches for the shampoo. And Finn knows they really have to get a move on now or they’ll both be late, so he doesn’t try to distract Will again. Besides, he kind of likes the way Will’s fingers feel on his scalp when he’s massaging shampoo through Finn’s hair, and he likes it almost as much when he gets to return the favor.

Will’s got his head tilted back to let Finn rinse the shampoo out, eyes closed and sort of leaning into Finn when he says, “You would have made a good father, Finn.”

Finn pauses for a second with his hands still in Will’s hair, then he lets go and leans in to press a kiss to the top of Will’s shoulder. “Not as good as you.”

He doesn’t bring it up again until they’re both dressed and in the kitchen, Will pouring coffee into a couple travel mugs while Finn leans against the counter and watches him. And maybe it’s too soon to have this conversation, but they’ve sort of been talking about it all morning, so maybe it doesn’t really matter anymore.

“Do you still think about it? Being a dad, I mean.”

Will glances over at him, but Finn can’t tell for sure what he’s thinking. “Sometimes. Sometimes I worry...”

“What?” Finn asks when Will pauses, frowning down at the coffee pot for a second before he sighs and looks up at Finn again.

“Sometimes I worry that I’m taking away your chance at having a family. I’m not getting any younger, Finn, and it’s not as though we can just get pregnant, even if we were at that point in our relationship.”

Finn’s not sure when that point comes, exactly. He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize it, or if Will’s going to tell him when they get there or what. And yeah, they’ve only been together a few months now, but Kurt and Puck were together less time than him and Will before they got engaged.

“Kurt and Puck have talked about kids.”

“Kurt and Puck are getting married.”

Finn shrugs one shoulder in response, then he reaches around Will and picks up one of the travel mugs. Will’s just kind of looking at him when he straightens up, so Finn leans in and plants a firm kiss on his lips before he pulls back.

“Something to think about, I guess. Thanks for the coffee.”

He’s halfway across the kitchen before a hand lands on his shoulder, and he lets Will turn him around and then pull him forward. Will’s hand closes around the front of his shirt, and he’s going to leave wrinkles, but Finn’s just going to the shop, so it doesn’t matter. What matters is that Will’s kissing him like he wants Finn to spend the rest of the day thinking about it, and if that’s what he’s going for, it’s working.

When he lets Finn up for air he doesn’t let go of Finn’s shirt right away; he just holds Finn there, kind of searching his face like he’s looking for the answer to some question he hasn’t asked.

“I love you, Finn,” he finally says, and Finn grins and grips his chin to pull him in for another kiss.

“Yeah, I love you too,” Finn answers, and when Will smiles back at him his heart skips a beat. Will takes his time letting go of him, smoothing down Finn’s shirt in the front and fiddling with one of his buttons for a second before he takes a step back.

“We’ve got an extra Glee rehearsal after school,” Will says, and Finn’s not sure why, but he kind of sounds like he’s apologizing. “I want to make sure the kids are ready for Nationals.”

“You know I don’t mind,” Finn says, then he grins and takes a couple steps backwards. “If I get out of the shop early enough maybe I’ll swing by. I always kind of liked watching you dance.”

He leaves Will blushing in the middle of the kitchen, and when he pulls their front door open he can still hear Will laughing.


End file.
